People who are not morons understand that Continuity Creates Opportunity

If you are reading this, and you are a moron, I am sorry that you are unable to stop being a moron. If you find yourself disagreeable with the mind thoughts expressed in this opinion piece (or op-ed in pro terms), then this is a clear sympton and or sign that you have moron tendencies. So before you express your moron tendencies it is important for you to listen to someone who makes sense in order for you to get over being stupid.

Today's topic for people who are not stupid is Continuity, which is THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT OF A GOOD COMIC THAT IS NOT STUPID. If you are a non-moron but do not understand what Continuity is then I will explain it now in non-moron language to create understanding in your mind brain.

Continuity is the flow of comics history. It reflects the details that form the lifeforce juices of a comicbook character lifeform. If a comicbook character lifeform were alive, continuity would not be a second thought, because we live with it every day. That time you asked every girl person in your highschool to prom, and none of them said yes, except for one girl who you didn't like very much because she was not attractive, who you decided to give your virginity to, who did not appreciate it when it was over too fast, who you then felt too embarrased to ever face again and then didn't talk to for the rest of your life out of revulsion and self-loathing? That is continuity in action!

If you are fictional then imagine the possibilities and memories! If that is your real life well then buddy have I got some numbers for you to call. Please note that the above is not my life at ALL despite what people may tell you. Because of my deep understanding of continuity and its importance I can use that to create examples of deep meaning with my own mind thoughts and editor talents.

Just like your own personal history of ups and downs reflects your own life, the life of a comic book character's history of events does the same. When Superman gets an ant head after being exposed to red kriptinite, that's part of his personal history. A good writer will remember all of these details, because, really, if your head turned into an ant-head you would remember that. So later, if Superman is exposed to red kriptinite and AGAIN gets his head turned into an ant-head, and he doesn't remember, and none of his fellow superheroes remember, but YOU remember, then that's wiered. Because it doesn't take a genius to realize that forgetting you once had an ant's head is just not possible.

We'll set aside why Superman is such an awful idea for a character. Before that is done, it is a good time to point out that the utter stupidity of Superman as a character is what has lead to stories about red glowing rocks that make ant heads in the first place, but that is a digression best left for discussing at a time other than this moment, which is now.

Instead of focusing on bad paths that stupid ideas lead down, it is better to focus on what has done been well. Take Deathlok. This character in his original continuity makes perfect sense. He is a science-fiction cyborg from the future (the year 1985) that is later sent back in time. This is a very simple conceptual idea and not difficult to understand due to non-complexity. It is (or was) easy to trace the history of Luther Manning from the future, to the past, to the present, then back to the future. The fact that he was a cyborg warrior from the future and remembered these things is what made the character great. When his brains were ripped out and replaced by another person's brain, the character lost all of that wonderous continuity, and the future world of 1985 was lost forever. The 'new' Deathlok without the knowledge of 1985 or the future disappeared and was replaced by something awful, which is the bad comic Deathlok became.

What is the point of this? If the Marvel powers that be had simply left the character intact that would've created many opportunities for storytelling. It does not take a genius to know, for example, that the year 1985 is also the year of that awful Back to the Future movie series setting. Even those movies are terrible, they do exist and were popular in mass culture. Had the old Deathlok been allowed to keep his mind memory of his future 1985, then a crossover could've happened. How fantastic would that have been to see Deathlok perhaps hunt down Marty McFly and Doc Brown? It is what this fan would've easily paid 35 to 55 cents to read! Yet by ripping away that old memory with the new brain the chance to see Doc Brown get murdered by Deathlok was lost. Way to throw away 35 to 55 cents an issue Marvel!

People who love comics love to know the whole history of a character because that is all that matters. If I know that Tony Stark drinks single malted brown whiskey, and then one day he drinks double malted brown whiskey, and he does not realize that there is something wrong, then that is (1) bad writing and (2) like I am no longer looking at a trusted friend but a stranger.

So hey good aspiring writers, remember that all those details are important. If you pull away those details for the sake of some cockamamey story that you think is so great, just remember that you are (to use a metaphor) taking away the audience's chance to see Deathlook shoot Doc Brown.

I cannot make this point any more strongly than that I think. Continuity matters people and is the only path to really great stories. Period. End of story. There is no more to say. Period. That is all. Period.

Zoombaboom Babies!

Dwight R. Vlahos